One thing I'd observe both in terms of giving and receiving feedback is the emotional place/state it is coming from makes a big difference. The best feedback comes purely from a place of love and wanting what is best for the other. It is entirely selfless. Then the ego doesn't get involved.
If you feel you want or need the other to change in the ways you are outlining (or that the other wants or needs you to change in the ways they are articulating), it's going to feel self serving. I try to ask myself when I am giving feedback/advice: am I indifferent to whether this feedback is taken? Am I simply stating my truth and it is purely for the benefit of the other, to heed or not. An ideal I always fall short of, but I think it makes sense in the abstract.
I feel the same about the emotional state being key to being able to internalize it.
The concept of selfless feedback is really interesting. I never really thought of it that way. I think I still struggle with the idea that as soon as I give someone feedback they should change immediately. Admittedly this is immature of me. Just like thinking a stock should go up immediately after I have filled a position. lol
Nice post Dean!
One thing I'd observe both in terms of giving and receiving feedback is the emotional place/state it is coming from makes a big difference. The best feedback comes purely from a place of love and wanting what is best for the other. It is entirely selfless. Then the ego doesn't get involved.
If you feel you want or need the other to change in the ways you are outlining (or that the other wants or needs you to change in the ways they are articulating), it's going to feel self serving. I try to ask myself when I am giving feedback/advice: am I indifferent to whether this feedback is taken? Am I simply stating my truth and it is purely for the benefit of the other, to heed or not. An ideal I always fall short of, but I think it makes sense in the abstract.
Thanks for the comment.
I feel the same about the emotional state being key to being able to internalize it.
The concept of selfless feedback is really interesting. I never really thought of it that way. I think I still struggle with the idea that as soon as I give someone feedback they should change immediately. Admittedly this is immature of me. Just like thinking a stock should go up immediately after I have filled a position. lol
Dean
I'm the same. If you see and express what is possible, how do you hold the reality of what is if it's short of the possible?
Said differently, how can you accept what is but also push for more/better/the best?